An update of sorts....

Before I jump into the new year I would like to talk about 

MY BLOGGING MISHAPS OF 2012! 

1- Back in February I was transferring my pictures from my camera to my computer and I got them all on my computer and had them organized and labeled in a nice little folder and then deleted the pictures off my camera. Well come to find out not all the pictures made it to my computer in including pics from Christmas 2011 and I still don't know what happened. Tears were shed and a lesson was learned. DOUBLE CHECK...IN FACT TRIPLE CHECK.....your pictures that you transfer and it is also helpful to not let a bazillion pictures accumulate on your camera before doing something with them!

2- This is my most recent mishap. In November I woke up one morning and couldn't sleep. I grabbed my nifty Samsung Galaxy Smartphone and was cleaning it up, deleting some apps I don't use and just freeing up some space. Then I jumped over to my gallery and started looking through pictures. I noticed that in my gallery there were folders of my blog in fact every picture/post from my blog was in my gallery...I started blogging back in 2007. I thought that was weird and it was taking up a lot of space...so why not get rid of it?!? So I deleted (delete is a swear word) them. Life went on....for  a few days actually. One night I jumped on my computer and got on my blog and noticed that all my pictures were black with a minus sign in the middle. I was confused. It took me the whole night to figure out what happened. Yep, my smartphone is smarter than me......when I was deleting those photos off my phone they also were deleted off my blog!!!!!! I now know that everytime I post to my blog that post goes right to my phone into my gallery. And I WILL NOT delete it! I had my little brother do some research about it and other owners of the Samsung Galaxy have also experienced this heartache. I have never shed a tear over this event in fact I've never really thought it was real. The more I think about it the more angry I get! More anger than sadness. Who knows maybe I will have to go to counseling someday and deal with the emotion I never felt! haha! At times I have almost deleted my blog and said to hell with blogging but Aaron always talked me out of it. So I've come to conclusion to continue on with my blogging. I know it will take months, probably years is more accurate to say.... to go in and redownload all the missing pictures and put them back where they are suppose to be. And little by little I might do it. Or I just might print the blog and go in and place the pictures myself. I'm not sure. When I started this blog my hopes and expectations was to always print my blog at the end of each year. And I haven't ever done it. In fact I don't even know how to do it! Once again lesson learned!! DO WHAT YOU SAY YOU ARE GONNA FREAKING DO AND LEARN HOW TO DO IT!!!
Lessons learned....the hard way of course. I'm sure I've grown from these experiences.......

Also before we head into the new year I would like to document another.....happening.....of 2012. On August 25th Aaron's 30th birthday I showed him a positive pregnancy test. The baby was due around April 21, close to my best friend from highs school Carrie's birthday, at the time I felt like I could be overdue and wait til April 24th right on her birthday!! I wanted an April birthday SO bad, and I got one! We were excited! I felt blessed. Unfortunately at my 10 week appointment the baby was measuring at 6 weeks and Dr. Dyer was concerned. After many many blood tests that you take every 48 hours - called Quant Tests - a trip to the ER because I passed out cold in the middle of the night, and many other happening and details... it was determined or just confirmed that I was having a miscarriage. I called it a missed miscarriage. I went to the pharmacy to pick up the meds that would bring pain and help me pass the baby in the night. Well that did not work like it was suppose to so on October 12th I went in for the DNC surgery and finally everything came to an end.  During this time I was thankful for many people:

My loving Heavenly Father who brought peace and  comfort beyond comprehension. I became very close to my Savior Jesus Christ at this time who helped the pain go away and peace and joy come into my life.

 An amazing husband who was there for me every step of the way who put his feelings aside to be there for me.

 My two amazing kids who I now hug tighter... who I am so much more grateful for..... I feel so lucky to have them I cannot even express how lucky and blessed I feel to have them and touch them everyday.

My amazing mom who was also here for me. She cleaned, cooked, took care of kids, kept things normal,and helped me through it all. Thank you to my wonderful dad who let us have her for a few weeks and was also offering love and support to me.
The rest of my family who offered kind words and deeds through it all...whether it be through text messages or food.

Many friends that have also experienced loss and have been a huge support to me.
Visiting teachers who brought me food and offered kind words.
I learned that I'm not alone....one in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage, and one in 300 couples will have three or more consecutive miscarriages. I feel like I have coped with my grief very well, it comes and goes. I  feel I am more aware of others life challenges and struggles. I have learned that I have the right to grieve and I have experienced loss and I need to grieve. I have learned to not be offended by others intentions. I have learned that the scriptures, books, magazines, and people all offer and contain comfort and guidance. The gospel has been a source of comfort. My testimony is stronger, my love for my husband and kids is stronger, I am truly grateful for my trials.

In the ER

what was next to my bed during recuperation......

Now to 2013!
Last night I came up with a few things to focus on for the new year.
My motto is to focus on the things that I have and not the things I don't have.
 Read from the scriptures, Ensign, or something spiritual everyday.
Do better at personal prayers.
Be a better wife and mother by having more patience!
Teach my children through example and the spirit.
My OCD and controlling self needs to remember that I'm not always in control.
Pay off Aaron's student loan.
And what the heck.....be a better blogger!
I know there are many more things I need to focus or refocus on but we will start with this!